Wednesday, September 29, 2004

impermanent tenses 4

Swept
across news
sun helpless against

I
fly easy
wings rattle shame

You
got me
against the fence

Way
you do
shame on you


Elbows
shadow scaffolds
halfway up, into

God
among clouds
several versions believe

Songs
creation machines
dot aspirations/ blow!

Advertise
right buttock
keeping the score

Front
page morning
a sliding puzzle

People
look up
sex+civil+war

My
dragon statue
tacks the corner

Ready
to lie
in the corner

3 comments:

Andrew said...

Jill - I'm interested in how you wrote this - the 'process' ... Wanna tell us?

Andrew

Okir said...

Great poems here, Jill...

j.

Jill said...

Thanks Jean.

Well, Andrew, this form is hay(n)ku, for a start so I already had the form and I've written 3 previous in the series. I felt another coming on, is the first excuse. At the same time, I had been looking at an old poem of mine - a bit notey, had used a bit of a google search to get some words and phrases, then had reboiled it, couple of times. (You know what I mean.) But I still didn't really like it. Hay(na)ku tends to focus me so I went in there to refine away what I didn't need and see if it worked with the form. I got rid of extraneous words and went from there. Brought it back, so to speak.

Jill